Welcome to my Blog
Hey, I'm a newbie at this whole blog thing. It practically took me forever to figure out how to manipulate the layout and stuff like that but fortunately I remembered some of the things I learned in IT class. I just blog to pass time and till I figure out what to do with my life. For now, I just write random thoughts and if you don't like them why bother reading? XD
P.S. Think of this blog as a work in progress.
I've four days left in Davao. The past couple of days have been really hard and emotional. Every time I think about the 6th of June I get nervous and teary-eyed. I've had at least 2 sleepless nights these past couple of days and it kinda sucks that no one really cares that I'll be going away. I haven't heard from some of my friends whom I really feel connected and intact with. They barely even check on me to say hi or what's new with your life, simple things like that which really mean a lot. All I keep hearing is, "laag tayo before ka mag-alis bai ha" pero sigruo hanggang salita na lang muna yun sa ngayon. Yun na lang ba talaga ang mapapanghawakan ko sa mga taong tinatawag kong kaibigan? Ewan ko, ang hirap na pinapaasa ka sa wala mas mahirap yung naghihintay ka kahit meh pakiramdam ka na di matutuloy ang mga ganyang usapan. Eh ayaw ko naman na ako ang unang mag-yayaya sa kanila kasi di naman talaga ako yung klaseng tao na laging wala sa bahay. Sana na man eh kahit papaano naaalala rin nila ako kahit text lang man. Naiisip ko tuloy minsan na baka pag-alis ko eh makakalimutan lang nila ako, kagabi I prayed for them, yung mga tao sa buhay ko kasali na mga kaibigan ko, kahit minsan I feel that I don't have a place in their life I continue asking God to guide them, to help them make the right choices in life kasi di naman lagi na may mga taong tutulong sayo minsan nga eh sarili mo lang ang makakatulong sayo sa bawat problemang dumarating. I'm the kind of person that always wanted to make a difference in people's lives even if they remember me for the insignificant things I do for them like when they ask me for favors or other stuff like that. I really like it when they seek me for help, gaya ng pagpapatutor yung mga ganyang bagay na kahit papaano ay makakatulong ako sa kanila kahit minsan eh wala na man akong hininging kapalit basta't wala akong ginagawa pati kung di ako tinatamad kahit anong bagay pa gustong hingiin ng mga kaibigan ko eh I do what I can as long as I can. Kaya nga that's what puzzles me eh, all my life I've been this person who's been trying to please her friends. In the past couple of years you can notice people especially people at school who I make libre to when they ask or even if they don't rin or who I drop off at this and that place or who ask me for favors because they think "I don't mind" or those who make utang tas di ako babayaran. Those things I do because I like doing them and some of the time really really pisses me off when I'm not in the mood. People don't notice that side though because they think ahhh si Jem bitaw yan ok lang and I don't tell them that it's not ok. Take for example the libre part and the utang part, those things are fairly good don't get me wrong kasi kung may pera ako di ko naman yun pinagdadamot kasi di ako gahamang pinalaki ng magulang ko sa pera. Lalo na kung ang isang tao ay tinuturing ko talaga na really close friend, why not diba?. Pero madami talagang abusado jan eh gaya na lang ni..hahai..nag isang taon na lang ay di pa ako mabayabayaran sa utang. And to think this debt is like play money for crying out loud. There's just so many people out there who think I'm rich, who think my family is rich when in truth were not. Just because we own a lot of cars and this fairly big house doesn't mean we have tons of money. Were like everyone else, we also have our financial issues like everyone else. So many people think it's ok to not pay me back for stuff they borrowed or not return stuff they borrowed because they think I don't need it back. They don't know for the past year or so there were times that I cry myself to sleep asking God to help my dad make enough money to pay our debts in time or to provide us with the basic necessities, asking God to help the spare parts business because there are really more tough times than good times in business. There are moments where we can't make money kasi yung mga customers di binabayaran utang nila in time or pinagtataguan kami kung minsan lugi ang tindahan lalo na ngayon lahat mahal tas kokonti na lang tauhan ni papa. Ang hirap ng buhay pero swerte pa rin kami kahit papaano kasi tutal nakakakain pa rin kami tatlong beses sa isang araw. Like last year, we were really lucky that we made money in time. Kasi ang lapit na talaga yung time na ibebenta na sana namin ang bahay. Nung kinuwento nga ng parents ko sakin di ako makatingin sa kanila kasi umiiyak na ako. Naaawa na nga ako kay papa eh kasi ako wala akong magawa para matulungan siya. As I grow older I realize every day that I need to grow up even if I don't want to.It's weird how a thought can absorb your emotions in a snap. Ang dami ko nang na itype ah..hahaha..where was I again? hahaha..oh right, so I think this whole leaving thing gave me a new perspective in life and that is do the best you can. I asked God last night to guide me through this whole thing, I don't want to be that kid who's lazy in class. I want to make my parents proud and to make them know that going to school away from home was the right choice and they weren't just wasting time and money sending me there. :) Back to the friend thing though, uhhhh I really can get carried away with stuff sometimes..hahaha..I have ADD..hahaha..I just wish they make me feel like I've been part of who they are sometimes. Yun lang, too much to ask ba? hahaha..ewan :D hahaha..Anyhow, I started cleaning out my closet today. Kapoi mag sort out ng stuff na dapat palabhan tas ano ipack..uhhhh..hahaha..I'm not even done emptying the thing..hahaha..Mamaya na naman cguro..hahaha..Kapoi XD
Labels: emo :|, summer
Today's pretty much ordinary. Nothing special happened, just stayed here at home. Hmmmm...I've two more weeks left in Davao. Excited kaya? Nah..I think next week would be a little less ordinary though . I'm guessin' I'd be out a lot, mostly with friends or buying stuff for my "new life" in Manila..hahai..Good thing is I've got something to do tomorrow. Going to the beach house with my Gaite family. I'm gonna meet two of my NEW nieces, they're both under 6 months..hahaha..I've a lot of nephews and nieces already, that makes 19 I think. Too many kids for a 16 year-old to handle :| That's pretty much all my thoughts for the day. I'll write whenever I think of something..hahaha.. :D
Labels: stuff i did, summer
The Korea thing got canceled. I'm staying here till the 6th :| grrrr I was so looking forward to going to Seoul on the 3rd. Turns out Dole is moving their finance meeting to the latter part of this year...hahai..I think they got paranoid about the earthquake thing that's been striking parts of China and they think that it'd hit Korea soon. uhhhhh..But anyways I'm looking on the bright side I guess, I get to spend more time here in Davao and also with my family and friends. Yeah, I think I didn't lose anything instead I got a new opportunity if you'd call it that? hahahaha..It's 4am..hahaha. wala lang.. XD
Labels: bad trip, korea, summer
Larph called at 7am :| which is TOO EARLY for someone to call. Naputol tulog ko, yati ka larph..hahaha..anyways he was in town so he decided to tell me that we'd hang out today. So yeah even though I was lazy to get my ass up, i still did :| hahai..Had ZERO money today, good thing gi libre ko ni larph..hahaha..tnx larph..we went to the cat walk then to mcdo then to the cat walk again and saw some friends whom we said hi to..hahaha..Tas walang taxi eh di nag tricycle na lang kami yun pala closed pa yung sm..hahaha..We waited for 10 minutes outside :| Walked around sm for a bit to pass time. We did random stuff, mostly looking for new stuff to buy or will buy..hahaha..Ate at pizza hut, libre ni larph..ahahah..libre lahat..hahaha..And then I went home then went out ulit to the bank to sign something.. KAPOI mo lang..hahaha..Tas yun dito na lang sa house chat lang tas figuring out how to manipulate codes. IDK how other people do it, ang hirap :| Oh yeah I've to go back to the codes na, hahaha maui is waiting for me to finish so i can tell her my blog address..hahaha.. :p
Labels: blog, codes, stuff i did, summer
Went to Buda last saturday(may 17). I was with former classmates, my canisius family. Too bad not everyone was there. I sure do wish I could've spent that weekend with more people but hey I still had a blast. I just the love the country side, fresh air and all. Way different from what we have here in the city. Ang lamig dun, note to self bring clothes that will contrast the cold..hahaha..But even though the weather was cold the warmth of friendship made the climate tolerable. When we were there it was as if we lived for the moment and didn't have to worry about what tomorrow would bring or what the problems we had were. I wish we'd make it a yearly thing. I really miss my 3rd year section, not only that but also my other friends from high school..hahai..Back to the reunion, there was never really a dull moment we all uttered quips every now and then..hahaha..Even though the whole Buda thing is over it doesn't mean things have to be become ordinary again, the memories will always be with me and when the time comes when I think that I'm alone all I've to do is look back and think of that weekend. The funnest part must've been the sleepless night we had and the truck ride back home that left my hair oh so stiff! hahaha.. Last thing I've to say is when I was there I treasured every single waking moment. Even the simplest of things like the sunset, the weather, eating together etc. made all the difference this summer. I couldn't have spent that weekend with anyone else other than them, friends from tres canisius :) (ausa.vic.plang.ronald.dale.mika.darra.ace.noy.celine.chelsea) I hope next year madagdagan pa tayo di mabawasan :) Sa uulitin ulit bai ha? :)
Labels: buda, cold, fun, province, summer, tres canisius, vacation
Na enroll na ako nung friday! :D yey. Nakita ko na din yung dorm ko. Ok naman siya hindi madumi, malapit lang sa school so yeah it's pretty much the normal dorm. Hahai..Uuwi pa ako balik ng Davao, kapoi man ui pero mas kapoi dito sa QC ang init!! errr...Stressed na ako dito, ang dami kong iniisip araw-araw. Yun tuloy, kahapon nag-yosi ako! uhhhh I hate myself for that. Ayaw ko nang matempt : I need to stop na. :| I hope Ronna gets here soon, I'm at trinoma waiting for her.
Labels: manila, summer, trinoma
